The Chinese Farmer: Why Nothing Is “Good” or “Bad”(And Why That’s Actually Freeing) 🌾

Hey Friends…!!

I’m writing this from my room in NIT Rourkela…and honestly! The weather is FINALLY getting cooler. Like,actually pleasant….You know that feeling when you step outside and the air doesn’t feel like it’s attacking you? Yeah, that

Last night…I went for a cycle ride around campus…Just me, my cycle, and the night. And I’m not exaggerating….the entire campus was filled with this divine fragrance from the trees…I don’t even know which trees they are (I should probably pay more attention in those walks😅)..but it was just….peaceful, you know?

There’s something about night rides that just hits different…The empty roads, the cool breeze, that fragrance….it makes you think about stuff

And speaking of thinking about stuff….I’m planning to catch a movie this evening…Nothing deep, just want to chill. But before that…I wanted to share something with you friends😁

Remember Last Time? 🚤

Last time, I told you about the Empty Boat parable….about how most of our anger is pointless because we’re basically getting mad at empty boats. People drifting into our lives, not trying to hurt us, just….existing in their own chaos.

That got a lot of you thinking (and messaging me about your own empty boat moments, which was amazing btw).

But today? I want to talk about something even bigger…

Something that’s been on my mind after that night ride…after watching the weather change, after seeing people around campus stressing about placements, exams….all of it.

I want to talk about good luck and bad luck.

Or more specifically….how there’s no such thing.

Wait, What? 🤔

Yeah, I know how that sounds…But hear me out…

There’s this parable….The Chinese Farmer story. And once I heard it, it genuinely changed how I look at literally everything that happens to me.

So let me tell you the story….

The Parable of the Chinese Farmer 🐴

Once upon a time….okay yeah, I know, I said I don’t do fairy tales😄 but this one is actually ancient Chinese wisdom, so just bear with me….

Day 1:

There was this farmer in a Chinese village. One day, his horse ran away.

All the villagers came to his house that evening. “Oh no! Your horse ran away! That’s TERRIBLE. We’re so sorry for your bad luck!”

The farmer just looked at them and said…..“Maybe.”

Day 2:

The next day, the horse came back…But it didn’t come alone….it brought seven wild horses with it.

Now the farmer had EIGHT horses. The villagers rushed back. “Oh my god! You’re so LUCKY! This is amazing! What incredible fortune!”

The farmer looked at them and said…..“Maybe.”

Day 3:

The farmer’s son tried to train one of the new wild horses. He got on it, tried to ride it….and fell off. Broke his leg.

The villagers came back. “Oh dear….that’s so unfortunate. Your poor son. What bad luck!”

The farmer said…..“Maybe.”

Day 4:

The very next day, army officers came to the village. They were conscripting young men to go fight in a war.

They went house to house, taking all the able-bodied young men.

But when they came to the farmer’s house? They saw his son with a broken leg and left him behind.

The villagers came AGAIN. “Wow! What amazing luck! Your son doesn’t have to go to war!”

And the farmer….you guessed it….said “Maybe.”😄

And That’s Where It Hit Me 💭

Sitting there on my cycle last night, breathing in that fragrance, I was thinking about this story.

Because we do this ALL THE TIME, don’t we?

Something happens and we IMMEDIATELY label it…

“This is the BEST thing that ever happened to me”..!

“This is a DISASTER”

“I’m so LUCKY”

“Why does everything bad happen to ME”?

But here’s the thing….we have NO IDEA what anything actually means in the bigger picture.

That internship you didn’t get? Maybe it saved you from a toxic work culture..Maybe

That relationship that ended and broke your heart? Maybe it cleared the path for someone better. Or maybe it taught you something you desperately needed to learn…Maybe

That exam you failed? Maybe it’s redirecting you toward something you’re actually meant to do. Maybe

Getting selected for that committee you wanted SO badly? Maybe it’s going to drain you and take away time from what really matters..Maybe

We just….don’t….know

The Instagram Problem 📱

You know what’s crazy? We live in a time where everyone is constantly announcing their “good news” and their “bad news.”

LinkedIn is full of “Thrilled to announce…” posts

Instagram stories are either celebrations or rants

We’re all constantly judging our lives….labeling events as wins or losses, good fortune or bad luck

But what if none of it is either?

What if it’s all just….events? Things that happen? And the story only makes sense WAY later….if ever?

The farmer didn’t celebrate when the horses came….He didn’t despair when his son broke his leg

He just said…..maybe

Not because he was emotionless or didn’t care…But because he understood something we’ve forgotten:

You can’t judge the meaning of something while you’re still in the middle of the story.

Here’s What I’m Trying Now 🎯

So after that ride last night, I decided something…

Next time something “good” happens to me..Let’s not get too attached to it being good

And next time something “bad” happens? We’ll try to not spiral into “why me” mode

Let’s just try to say…..maybe

Maybe this job offer is great. Maybe it’s not….Time will tell.

Maybe missing that trip was unfortunate…Maybe I needed to be here for something else.

Maybe getting into this relationship is the best thing ever….Maybe it’s a lesson I need to learn.

“Maybe”

It sounds simple, but it’s actually….freeing?

Like…it takes the pressure off..I don’t have to figure out RIGHT NOW whether something is a blessing or a curse. I can just….let it unfold.

But Wait….Does This Mean We Just Accept Everything? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Look…I can already hear some of you thinking: “So we just become passive? We don’t celebrate wins? We don’t feel our feelings?”

NO. That’s not what I’m saying

Feel your feelings…Celebrate your wins…Be disappointed when things don’t work out

But don’t get so attached to the label

Don’t convince yourself that THIS thing is definitely the best/worst thing that could happen

Because you don’t know that. Nobody knows that

The story isn’t over

The Weather Changed, And So Can We 🌤️

You know how the weather here suddenly shifted? From that brutal heat to these cool, breezy nights?

May be that’s kind of how life works too…Things change. What seems terrible today might make sense tomorrow…What seems perfect now might reveal complications later

The campus smells different now…The air feels different…Everything’s shifting

And maybe….just maybe….we can shift too

From needing to label everything to just….experiencing it

From judgment to curiosity.

From “This is definitely good/bad” to “Let’s see where this goes.”

So Here’s What I’m Asking You 🌾

This week..just try it

Something happens….good, bad, whatever…

Before you post about it, before you call your friends to celebrate or vent, before you decide what it means….

Just pause and whisper to yourself: “Maybe”

Maybe this is what it seems. Maybe it’s not

Maybe the story is just beginning…Maybe it’s already more complicated than I think

Maybe

And then….just see what happens.

Embrace the uncertainty…Let go of the need to know RIGHT NOW whether something is fortune or misfortune.

Just….enjoy the ride…Like a night cycle ride through campus, not knowing exactly where you’re going but trusting the path

Because honestly? That’s all any of us can do

The farmer had it figured out centuries ago….Maybe it’s time we catch up😉


So yeah….that’s what’s been on my mind. The movie can wait a couple more hours😄

Have you ever had something that seemed terrible turn out to be a blessing? Or something that seemed amazing turn into a mess? I’d love to hear your “maybe” stories.

Drop a comment below. Let’s talk about it.

Until next time…

❤️ From Jayesh Dantha

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