“The Empty Boat”: Why Most of Your Anger Is Pointless 🚤

Hey Friends…!!

I’m writing this from Vizag, where I came for the Dussehra holidays. Yesterday, I have spent some time at the beach….just watching the waves🌊, the boats, the ships drifting by. There’s something about the ocean that makes you feel calm…you know? Like all your problems suddenly seem smaller.

And yeah…you’ve guessed it right😉 I want to share you that story..!

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The Story of the Empty Boat 🌫️

ONCE UPON A Timeee….Wait i’m just joking that’s not required😄..This isn’t a fairy tale😄 (though it kinda sounds like one)

But okay, seriously….✊🏻

Picture this: A man is rowing his boat on a foggy morning. It’s peaceful. Quiet. Just him and the water.

Suddenly….CRASH. Another boat slams into him.

He’s furious….Absolutely livid. He starts shouting at the other boat, ready to jump in and fight whoever did this to him. His blood is boiling🩸🔥.

But then the fog clears…

And he sees….the boat is empty

There’s no one in it. It just broke loose from wherever it was tied up and drifted into you. Just….an accident. No one to blame. No evil person out to get you.

And just like that….his anger vanishes.
Because how can he be mad at an empty boat, right..?

Wait, But Here’s Where It Gets Real 💭

So I’m sitting there at the beach, thinking about this story….and it hit me.

Most of the stuff we get angry about? Empty boats.

Like seriously….think about it.

That guy who cut you off in traffic last week and you spent the next 20 minutes cursing him out in your head? Empty boat. He probably didn’t even see you. Maybe he was rushing to the hospital. Maybe he just learned to drive last month. Who knows?

Your roommate who forgot to clean the room and left his clothes unwashed on your chair? Empty boat. They’re not doing it to spite you….they’re probably just overwhelmed with their own stuff and genuinely forgot.

That friend who saw your message and didn’t reply for three days? Empty boat. They’re dealing with their own life, their own chaos, their own empty boats crashing into them.

But we don’t see it that way, do we?

We make it personal. We convince ourselves it was intentional. We build entire stories in our heads about how they don’t respect us, how they’re inconsiderate, how they did this ON PURPOSE.

And then we carry that anger around like a backpack full of rocks.

The Problem? We Make It Personal 😤

But here’s what we do instead: We see every collision as intentional….Every bump as a personal attack. Every inconvenience as someone deliberately trying to ruin our day.

And so we get angry. We hold grudges. We replay the incident in our heads a hundred times. We tell the story to anyone who’ll listen, building up this narrative where we’re the victim and they’re the villain.

But what if they’re just an empty boat?

What if there’s no villain at all?

The Beach Made Me Think About This Differently 🌊

So yesterday, watching that loose boat drift around….I started thinking about how much energy I waste being angry at empty boats.

How many times I’ve let some random person’s comment ruin my entire day. How often I’ve replayed arguments in my head with people who probably forgot about it five minutes later. How much space I’ve given in my brain to things that were never about me in the first place.

The ocean doesn’t care when boats bump into the shore. It just keeps doing its thing. The waves don’t hold grudges against the rocks. They just….keep flowing.

Why can’t I be more like that?

Here’s What I’m Trying Now 🧭

So I decided something. Next time I feel that anger rising up….that “How DARE they” feeling….I’m going to pause and ask myself:

“Am I getting mad at an empty boat?”

Is this person actually out to get me? Or are they just….drifting? Dealing with their own fog, their own storms, their own stuff I know nothing about?

And honestly? Most of the time, it’s the latter.

And when I realise that….it’s like someone just lifted a weight off my chest. The anger just….goes away.

Not because I’m suppressing it or pretending everything’s fine. But because I realise there’s nothing to actually be angry about.

Look, I’m Not Saying Be a Pushover ⚖️

If someone keeps crashing into you on purpose? That’s different. You can set boundaries. You can steer clear of them. You can even tie up their boat so they stop drifting into everyone else.

But for the everyday stuff? The random annoyances? The small frustrations that we blow up in our heads?

Maybe we can just….let them drift by.

Save our energy for the things that actually deserve it.

So Here’s My Challenge (And Yours Too) 🎯

This week, just notice. Notice when you get angry or frustrated or annoyed.

And ask yourself: “Empty boat?”

You’ll be shocked how often the answer is yes.

And when it is? Just….let it go. Watch it drift past. Don’t tie it to your boat and drag it along with you.

Because life’s too short to be mad at empty boats.

And honestly? The ocean taught me that yesterday. Just sitting there, watching everything flow….it all made sense.

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So yeah….that’s what I’ve been thinking about. Have you ever been really angry at something, only to realise later it was just an empty boat? I’d genuinely love to hear your stories….because I’m pretty sure we’ve all done this…

Drop a comment below and let’s talk about it.

Until next time…

❤️ From Jayesh Dantha